Now we have been giving some great tips over the past year to help your marriage, but please don’t use these to manipulate your spouse. What do I mean? Well don’t see a good post and say, “You need to read this, ” and then leave it like that and hope that they get the “message” by reading this short post. You have to communicate, and talk out your challenges.
Are you manipulative? First you need know how to identify manipulative behavior. Look at these definitions from wikihow.com
- A martyr style personality. This personality type behaves as if he or she is being considerate toward others but is actually messing up considerateness with a need to be significant to you. By “martyring” themselves, they are doing things nobody has asked of them or wants them to do but in the process creates a bind when they do them. In “doing you a favor”, their expectation increases that you have to return the favor. They may also complain constantly about all the things they do for you and wonder rhetorically when you’re going to return this favor…
- Excessively needy and dependent personalities. People who feel uncomfortable in their own skin, putting forth their own opinions and ideas can often hide behind manipulative behavior so that it seems as if you are responding on your own accord even though they’ve set up everything to have you respond directly to their neediness.
- Narcissists. This is the archetypal manipulative personality and it’s very hard to deal with this master manipulator.
- You. Seriously, at one time or other, every single one of us practices manipulative behaviors in one form or other. It is just that for most people, manipulative actions tend to be one-off or only occasional instances rather than a purposeful map for daily living and interaction with others.
So check you motives and make sure you are manipulating your spouse and if your spouse is manipulating you, you need to have a conversation and let them know how it makes you feel.
Communication and transparency is key.