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From HelloBeautiful.com

She’s kept quiet about the brutal 2008 murders of her mother Darnell, brother Jason and nephew Julian. Now, Jennifer Hudson is finally speaking out.

On VH1’s Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson on Monday night:

“It’s all a blur, it was surreal. It was like I was outside of myself. For almost two weeks straight . . . [I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out,” she says. “I prayed when I’d get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night.”

Hudson barely addressed the murders until the 2009 Grammys, where she performed a poignant, moving rendition of “You Pulled Me Through.”

“I was definitely thinking of my family when I was singing that song. I could hear my brother in my head, like, ‘Jennifer, you need to kill this, you need to get up and do it.’ I knew he would be disappointed if I didn’t do it justice.”

She added that her 11-month-old son David has helped her heal, and that he “reminds me of my nephew.” And he also helps her remember her mother. “In so many ways I channel her because she was such a great mom.”

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