Are you a perfectionist? It’s natural to want to do a good job but don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. If your spouse advises you to “Lighten up” it might be good counsel. Marriage and parenting are tough jobs.
So remember that just because they aren’t “perfect” ( which , let’s be honest, no one is) doesn’t mean they aren’t good. Or that that they aren’t doing a good job.
Check yourself. Are you being too hard on your spouse? If so, lighten up!