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Here are some tips shared by Kirsten West Savali on thegrio.com  She shares tips from her own testimony on how to cope with the loss of a loved one during the holidays.

Make your lost loved one a part of the holidays.

Even though your loved one may not be here physically, he or she can be here in spirit if you let them. Sing their favorite song, cook their favorite dish or bake their favorite dessert. You don’t have to tuck them away on a shelf as a memory — let them live on through you. Making sure they are a part of the festivities can help to ease the pain.

2. Cry.

If you need to cry, then do it. Don’t feel like you’re ruining the holiday. Don’t let anyone make you feel selfish. The holidays are difficult enough without you having to bottle in your emotions. If you have small children, as I do, take a moment to yourself if you don’t want them to see you cry. But do it for your mental and emotional health.

3. Be understanding if someone says the wrong thing.

Not everyone is an expert on grief. When people say, “I know exactly how you feel; I lost my _____ four years ago,” or, “Think of all the good times,” they are honestly trying to comfort you. Accept their condolences in the spirit in which they are offered.

And last, but certainly not least:

4. Don’t feel guilty for feeling happy.

It’s ok to smile, laugh and have a good time. Though you will always mourn your loved one, there comes a point when you will have a genuinely happy moment. Embrace it. Imagine them smiling with you. Parents in particular sacrifice so that we can be happy. The best way to honor them is to seek joy and share it with them.

I am by no means saying that any of these things will be easy to do. Death shifts our world on its axis and we are forced to find a new normal — especially during the holidays when the emotional presence of our loved ones may be particularly strong. Just remember that grief is a very intimate process. There is no right or wrong way to get through it; the important thing is that you do – knowing your loved one will be right beside you every step of the way.

Happy holidays from my family to yours.

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