MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY TOPIC
Are You a Relationship Junkie?
The natural progression of finding a mate has drastically been altered by society and people in our lives telling us what we should and shouldn’t do. There is a maze of confusing signals, rules, and behavioral patterns that can hardly be called “natural” anymore. We are, by design, social creatures. We want to belong and we want to be cared for. For some of us, this urge is so strong that it will override common sense or even our own self-worth. Unfortunately, women fall prey to this problem more than men.
Lots of people seem to struggle with finding the right partner. Dating sites and services are a multi-billion dollar industry across the globe. We no longer have the time, or maybe skills to meet people by chance, so we go “relationship shopping” online. Most of us do it or have done it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to find a good compatible mate, but when you are doing it because the previous relationships failed and your friends and society is putting pressure on you, it then becomes a problem. There are many reasons to hold off on trying to pursue a relationship. Here are some of the reasons:
1. Desperation
All people, regardless of gender, can “smell” desperation—and trust me, they’ll run from it.
2. Low or No Self-Confidence
Again, most people pick up on it and don’t want that in their life. Healthy people want a partner, not a project, and having to constantly give approval or reassurance to someone who has no self-respect or confidence becomes draining
3. Commitment Phobes
Oddly enough, it tends to be this type that can’t hold a relationship and who seem to have no idea why. When we don’t trust others, and we’re afraid of committing, we’ll not only attract the same in return, but we’ll sabotage good things, usually by nitpicking or setting unattainable and completely unreasonable standards (this person is boring, I don’t like the way they dress, etc.)
Being able to love and be loved requires first that you can love yourself! Otherwise, you’ll become a black hole; no matter how much attention or care someone pours into you, it’s either never enough, or never from the “right person.” If you tear yourself into shreds, I can only imagine how harshly you criticize others. When you learn to love and accept yourself, you also start seeing the world and the people in it through different eyes.
It is always best to surround yourself with honest and caring people, who are preferably drama and mostly baggage free! Be open to their advice, even though it might not be what you want to hear or it may sting. I would assume that you don’t choose friends who want to deliberately hurt you or don’t care, so always consider the source for any type of feedback before you discard a friend, simply because they may have told you something you didn’t want to hear. If you ask for honesty, I hope for you that you get it.
We all have choices in life. It’s up to us to decide if we want to be participants and positive contributors to our lives, or if we want to be miserable and passive bystanders. No one is handing us a predetermined path. It’s up to us to choose our path. Life is short: Choose wisely!
If you are ready to take control of your life and live it to the fullest, contact me today for a complimentary Life Coaching Session.
For more in-depth assessments and life coaching articles and help, visit my website at http://www.chollowayhill.com or email me directly at cathy@chollowayhill.com
Article by:
Cathy Holloway Hill
Certified Life Coach & Career Consultant
Author of “Emotional Bailout – 9 Principles for Rising When Your World is Falling”
Follow me on Facebook and Twitter
