As I’m sitting in the back of the cop car, I watch officers bring my children out of our home. My wife is at the hospital, where she reported my assault. We had just gotten back from a trip to South Africa. My wife and I had an argument and I decided to physically remove her from our bedroom. In doing so, I assaulted her. I abused my wife physically. I pleaded guilty. I wasn’t guilty of all that was reported, like hitting her with a bar stool, but I was guilty of assaulting my wife. There’s no excuse. Part of my probation was a group class with other men cited for domestic violence. That class changed my life.
I thought that night when things became physical was the extent of my being an abusive husband. Once I started therapy, I realized I was worse off than I’d thought. In the last few years, I discovered there are many forms of abuse that happen in relationships—and only one of them is physical. As I began to look at myself, I saw so many different forms that I had perpetrated against my wife that affected my kids.
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