What Determines a Successful Relationship?
As a life coach, I hear thousands of individuals complain about “failed” relationships. Many women fall into this trap more than men. My first question is “what criteria do you use to determine whether a relationship failed?” And I typically get the same answers; “it failed because we broke up!” First of all, if the success of a relationship is based on staying together forever, getting married and living happily ever after, then that puts the number of “successful relationships” very low.
In my opinion, a successful relationship is one where you came out a better (not bitter) person, learned valuable life lessons, and experienced a level of love that enhanced your life and your personal development. Not all relationships are meant to last forever and result in happily ever after marriage. If you begin to look at love and relationships through new eyes, through the eyes of Christ, and with a renewed spirit, the outcome will be different. There is no failure, only lessons. And there is no blame, only redemption. Each relationship we encounter comes to us for many reasons. There are many lessons that we must learn in life and this comes through our relationships and encounters with others. Understanding this concept, and armed these new beliefs and attitude about relationships, it will place you in a better frame of mind for the new opportunities that come along.
A large majority of women are looking for a man to:
- Help her financially
- Make her happy
- Wine and dine her
- Help raise her children (of which whom the man may or may not be the father of)
- Build up her self-esteem
- Never leave her
- Improve her overall quality of life
Now that you’ve read that list, does it sound familiar to you? If you fall into this category, the message I have for you is to love yourself FIRST, and then develop a relationship with Christ! Once that happens, your reality will change. You will no longer expect something or someone on the outside of yourself to complete you. You will realize that success already lives inside you.
People jump into relationships quickly for many reasons, and oftentimes they know right away that it’s not the right thing to do nor is it the right time to do it. But they jump anyway. Be willing to take responsibility for the choices you make in life. And also, don’t settle for an individual who is not compatible with who you are and where you are in your mindset and your life!
With these tips and a new attitude, you can enjoy successful relationships in all areas of your life.
For more in-depth assessments and life coaching articles and help, visit my website at www.chollowayhill.com or email me directly at cathy@chollowayhill.com
Article by:
Cathy Holloway Hill
Certified Life Coach & Career Consultant
Author of “Emotional Bailout – 9 Principles for Rising When Your World is Falling”
