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Fifteen years ago, when Andy Reid was the Green Bay Packers’ low-key quarterbacks coach, he was a conspicuous and consistent target for a certain prank-loving pupil.

During one preseason game in Denver, Reid’s quarterback hid on the sidelines after receiving a play-call from the coach, provoking Mike Holmgren into erupting at his befuddled assistant.

Yes, long before he became known for premature retirement announcements, Brett Favre was the clown prince of Titletown.

Now, as fate would have it, Reid has a golden opportunity for payback — if only in a mythical manner. As the newly hired head coach and designated “Decider” of the Kansas City Chiefs, Reid gets to make the first selection in the ninth annual Ultimate Mock Draft, which brings up all kinds of devious hypothetical possibilities.

Given a chance to select any football player on earth, as is — continuing a tradition that began with the first Ultimate Mock Draft in 2005 and was extended in UMD II, III, IV, V, VI, VII and VIII — Reid can invite Favre to join him in the team’s war room.

Aaron Rodgers helped the Pack make the playoffs for a fourth straight year. (USA TODAY Sports)Then, once on the clock, Reid can tell the future Hall of Famer, “Brett, I’ve got a surprise for you. I’ve decided to hand the ball to a quarterback who can take my team to the promised land, the way he turned the Packers into Super Bowl champs. This guy is special. He rallies his teammates and overcomes adversity, and I have to have him. He’s the key to our success. And speaking of keys, could you do me a favor and drive my car over to the American terminal? I need you to pick up Aaron Rodgers from the airport.”

That would be awkward, but such is life in UMD-ville, where Chip Kelly has a tremendous chance of making an immediate splash as Reid’s successor in Philly, Jadeveon Clowney does not have to stay in school and Colin Kaepernick can be compelled to don a uniform that will make every 49ers fan cringe.

As always, we take the original draft order and allow each of the league’s 32 teams to select any human in his current physical condition. Obviously, this is an imaginary exercise, though the sentiment behind the selections is absolutely authentic. Many of the league’s top talent evaluators and coaches helped me determine which players would be deemed most valuable in such a scenario. And this year, in some cases, the general manager (or another powerbroker) of the team in question was actually put on the clock before providing me with the hypothetical pick.

In other words, don’t be fooled by cheap imitations of the Ultimate Mock Draft. And please don’t be one of the confused souls who calls me out for, say, not realizing that the Rams own the 22nd overall pick, given that the words original draft order now appear twice in this introduction.

Otherwise, I’ll clown you like Favre did Reid back in the late ’90s. And you will deserve it.

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