I got this from Pastor Jimmy Evans during the Gathering conference in Atlanta. He spoke on Communication is Marriage. One of the 5 elements of successful communication in marriage is to give each other enough time.
Couples need to have proactive communication instead of reactive communication. Talk to your spouse in advance. Be proactive. Proactive means: serving to prepare for, intervene in, or control an expected occurrence or situation, especially a negative or difficult one; anticipatory. Anticipate situations, talk about them BEFORE they happen. That way when they do happen, you are prepared for them. If not, you will have reactive conversations. Those are conversations most couples have. They are reacting after something has already happened. It may be something unexpected and then you have to react quickly and you are unprepared, often caught of guard and then you react negatively. Have conversations with your spouse. Pray together, have a vision meeting together where you plan out the year. Talk about each other’s expectations in your relationship. This eliminates a lot of pain along the way.
Vow to be proactive!