Sometimes what you don’t say can be more powerful than what you do say. I particularly want to address it from the perspective of those of us dealing with parenting and adolescents. Sometimes parents need not comment on everything. Sometimes it’s okay as a parent to know the unspoken truth of the adolescent and not say anything, but watch, observe and teach from a distant. Even though they are not aware they are being taught this lesson it is usually these lessons that are the greatest and longest lasting. Growing during my early teen years I often wondered why my father would show me how to do life more than he would say. My mother spoke to me a lot about different things adding her opinion and stands on certain subject matters. However dad would only speak when needed leaving many lessons to be learned through trial and god knows error.
Saying nothing and walking hand and hand with your teens can be the most painful for the both of you but it allows for growth and eliminates the chances of having to deal with the issues in the future all over again. When you don’t add your sometimes more than “two cents” about the matter it also can minimize the bruising and bleeding of what is already a tough time for the youth. In life we want to say a lot when we should do more than we say. It is our actions that people watch anyway including our own children. I have had so many people tell me one thing and totally lived something different. And I sit back I wonder do they know that I know that they are really not what they say they are? I am not saying to not speak to your children I am just saying curve what and when you do speak. For example you may want to help them by saying “you seem to be in a little deep, do you need some help or hey let me tell you what I see from where I am sitting.” And as a parent you may know the whole scoop and eventual outcome because as a parent we have been there a million times before, so the question is do we save them or teach them?
Because if we experienced something more than once chances are that we didn’t learn anything from it the first time. Which is why your words could do more harm in some situations than it does help. The power of the unspoken word allows kids a moment when they can come and speak their truth; they can present their honesty, courage and maturity.